MOST
OF IT WAS IN MY HEAD: Years ago, I'd go to camp meetings and sit at the
farthest table in the fellowship hall, isolated, trying to not talk to
anyone. I felt so out of place. I just knew they didn't like me. I knew
they were judging me. I did that for a couple of years. It was kind of
sad. I will spare you all the details, but I finally understood it
wasn't the people around me ... it was me. THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME!
Here's the funny thing ... The people around me thought I didn't like
them. The victim mentality I was carrying around with me could be felt
and seen by every one else. LET ME REPEAT: I thought they didn't like me
and they thought I didn't like them. I decided to shake hands and show
myself friendly like the Bible says (Pr 18:24). I sat down at their
tables and introduced myself. I found out most of the scandalous, secret
conversations I thought people were having about me were in my head. I
had been programmed to expect them to not like me, so that's what I
heard in my mind.
This has happened to me many times. I remember one time, 22 years ago, I was in the pulpit playing the electric guitar. All of the sudden, my guitar lost power. I looked over and saw that it was unplugged from the wall. I absolutely knew the man on the front row had unplugged it and that his grandmother, five pews back, told him to do it. I was furious. I decided I'd never play the guitar again. I sat there for a long time, very angry. Thankfully, I had a moment of sanity and asked the guy point blank if he did it. Of course he hadn't which meant his poor old grandmother didn't tell him too either. LOL. I was the victim of cheap outlets and gravity.
I will throw this out there as a disclaimer ... there have always been some people that didn't like me. There have always been people that talked about me. I actually had a guy turn the volume down on my guitar amp right in the middle of a church service. There have been churches that didn't want me. There have been people that couldn't stand me. Those experiences were the exceptions, not the rule.
But ...
I've learned that bitter people have a tendency to wear bitter shaded glasses. Angry people wear angry shaded glasses. Depressed people wear depressed shaded glasses. And people with victim mentalities often wear victim shaded glasses that cause them to think everyone is against them, trying to kill them. They run deep into a cave of despair and then accuse every one of forsaking them. If you're running from me (or a church), don't look over your shoulder and blame me for the distance that's between us.
Maybe we need to change our attitudes. Maybe we need to show ourselves friendly. Maybe it's true ... our ATTITUDE determines our ALTITUDE. Maybe it's true ... our IN-LOOK determines our OUT-LOOK.
Anyways ... this is me just trying to share a life changing lesson I learned the hard way.
Peace. Love. Hope.
This has happened to me many times. I remember one time, 22 years ago, I was in the pulpit playing the electric guitar. All of the sudden, my guitar lost power. I looked over and saw that it was unplugged from the wall. I absolutely knew the man on the front row had unplugged it and that his grandmother, five pews back, told him to do it. I was furious. I decided I'd never play the guitar again. I sat there for a long time, very angry. Thankfully, I had a moment of sanity and asked the guy point blank if he did it. Of course he hadn't which meant his poor old grandmother didn't tell him too either. LOL. I was the victim of cheap outlets and gravity.
I will throw this out there as a disclaimer ... there have always been some people that didn't like me. There have always been people that talked about me. I actually had a guy turn the volume down on my guitar amp right in the middle of a church service. There have been churches that didn't want me. There have been people that couldn't stand me. Those experiences were the exceptions, not the rule.
But ...
I've learned that bitter people have a tendency to wear bitter shaded glasses. Angry people wear angry shaded glasses. Depressed people wear depressed shaded glasses. And people with victim mentalities often wear victim shaded glasses that cause them to think everyone is against them, trying to kill them. They run deep into a cave of despair and then accuse every one of forsaking them. If you're running from me (or a church), don't look over your shoulder and blame me for the distance that's between us.
Maybe we need to change our attitudes. Maybe we need to show ourselves friendly. Maybe it's true ... our ATTITUDE determines our ALTITUDE. Maybe it's true ... our IN-LOOK determines our OUT-LOOK.
Anyways ... this is me just trying to share a life changing lesson I learned the hard way.
Peace. Love. Hope.
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