MOST OF IT WAS IN MY HEAD

MOST OF IT WAS IN MY HEAD: Years ago, I'd go to camp meetings and sit at the farthest table in the fellowship hall, isolated, trying to not talk to anyone. I felt so out of place. I just knew they didn't like me. I knew they were judging me. I did that for a couple of years. It was kind of sad. I will spare you all the details, but I finally understood it wasn't the people around me ... it was me. THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME! Here's the funny thing ... The people around me thought I didn't like them. The victim mentality I was carrying around with me could be felt and seen by every one else. LET ME REPEAT: I thought they didn't like me and they thought I didn't like them. I decided to shake hands and show myself friendly like the Bible says (Pr 18:24). I sat down at their tables and introduced myself. I found out most of the scandalous, secret conversations I thought people were having about me were in my head. I had been programmed to expect them to not like me, so that's what I heard in my mind.

This has happened to me many times. I remember one time, 22 years ago, I was in the pulpit playing the electric guitar. All of the sudden, my guitar lost power. I looked over and saw that it was unplugged from the wall. I absolutely knew the man on the front row had unplugged it and that his grandmother, five pews back, told him to do it. I was furious. I decided I'd never play the guitar again. I sat there for a long time, very angry. Thankfully, I had a moment of sanity and asked the guy point blank if he did it. Of course he hadn't which meant his poor old grandmother didn't tell him too either. LOL. I was the victim of cheap outlets and gravity.

I will throw this out there as a disclaimer ... there have always been some people that didn't like me. There have always been people that talked about me. I actually had a guy turn the volume down on my guitar amp right in the middle of a church service. There have been churches that didn't want me. There have been people that couldn't stand me. Those experiences were the exceptions, not the rule.

But ...

I've learned that bitter people have a tendency to wear bitter shaded glasses. Angry people wear angry shaded glasses. Depressed people wear depressed shaded glasses. And people with victim mentalities often wear victim shaded glasses that cause them to think everyone is against them, trying to kill them. They run deep into a cave of despair and then accuse every one of forsaking them. If you're running from me (or a church), don't look over your shoulder and blame me for the distance that's between us.

Maybe we need to change our attitudes. Maybe we need to show ourselves friendly. Maybe it's true ... our ATTITUDE determines our ALTITUDE. Maybe it's true ... our IN-LOOK determines our OUT-LOOK.

Anyways ... this is me just trying to share a life changing lesson I learned the hard way.

Peace. Love. Hope.

A BURNT OUT MINISTER IS IRRELEVANT

  A BURNT OUT MINISTER IS IRRELEVANT

 

I've been reading staggering statistics about clergy burnout. Statistics revealing how depression, obesity, hypertension, and diabetes are incredibly high among ministers. Did you know the life expectancy of a minister is much lower than the average person? 1,500 preachers leave the ministry every month. Why? I know what some will say, "They're hirelings. They don't pray. They don't love God. Etc." I'm sure that's true way too often, but that's not always the case. And those that readily say such things usually aren't pastors.

We are living in a different world than the men of old. Did you ever consider the fact that John Wesley, Charles Spurgeon, Charles Finney, Jonathan Edwards, General Booth, A. B. Simpson, etc, didn't have access to phones, planes, cars, internet, Facebook, email or text messaging? If the congregation got a hold of them it was on Sunday or via horse and buggy. And if your preacher was a circuit rider ... you DIDN'T get a hold of him.

 

They didn't have to compete with cell phones, ipads, ipods, television, radio, internet or Hollywood. People weren't gospel hardened and entertained to death. People didn't expect the preacher to cater to their every whim because they knew they COULDN'T cater to their every whim. Now, compare that with the hundred phone calls, text messages, emails, and literally thousands of Facebook messages I receive per week! I'm not unique, any pastor worth their salt has a similar story. Today's pastor is on call 24/7! The expectation level is insane. People want them to be at all places at all times having the answers to every dilemma. The minister (and whole family) never fully meet the requirements demanded of them because they haven't yet figured out how to be God! John Wesley attributed his long life to taking naps as often as he needed. If today's minister takes a nap someone rings the door bell and accuses them of being lazy and sleeping all day. (Been there and done that!)

But concerning the men and women of old ... they had revival and we (for the most part) do not. They spent most of their time praying, reading, and preaching. Their greatest stress came from wrestling with God, not men. 

 

They understood that the church belonged to God, not them. They understood that counseling can never take the place of the unadulterated preached Word. They understood that the hard-hearted and stubborn laity sitting in the pews were lost and in need of conversion and not to be reckoned as church bosses.

The answer? You need to remember that you're a Christian before you're a pastor! Let's spend more time in prayer and the Word, talking to God about men; and less time on Facebook, answering text messages and counseling people to do what we've told them a hundred times from the pulpit.

If you're tired, sleep. If you're on the verge of burning out, shut your phone off, take a few days off, spend time with God and your family. Learn how to say "NO"! If you're overweight and your health is breaking down ... man up! Get some discipline. Eat right and exercise! It'll pay off in the long run.

Don't let your wife suffer because you're ministering to another man's wife and don't have time for her. Don't lose your kids trying to save other people's kids. If you burn out you will wreck yourself and then be irrelevant anyway. You have no business overseeing spiritual business if you can't overseer your own personal business! (1Ti 3:5)

Don't allow anyone to push you beyond your capacity. And ... remember it all belongs to God. He's the husbandman. Let the divine stay up all night. Let the omnipresent be every where at all times. Let Him be responsible for HIS church. You? Just do what you can. You ask what the people will think? The true Christians will understand and be merciful. The hypocrites? Who cares? 

Let go and let God!
Peace, love, hope!

Something Has Changed (My Magnus Opus)

I recently turned 35 years old! Usually, I just move right through my birthdays without much thought, but this one was different than all of the rest. For some reason there was an unusual realization of time. I know I'm not old, but I suddenly understood that I am getting older; that I've lived a lot of life, witnessed and experienced a lot of pain, and cried and laughed and loved and gained and lost a great deal for one man. I noticed the pain in my back and wrinkles on my face haven't gone away. I was startled by the thought that 20 year old young men and women look at me like a father. I gasped at the fact that 35 is half of 70 and that my uncles and aunts are in their 70's and my grandmother died in her 70's and that was 25 years ago. I realized that I don't want my children to grow up anymore; that I want them to stay just like they are. I was shaken by the thought that I want time to stop.

But I also realized there's a good chance that I may have another 35 years; that I may have another 35 years to love and live and heal and cry and forgive and help and hope and give and strengthen and build and pray and preach and listen and care.

I realized that there are 5 people (my wife and 4 children) that I'm not expendable to. I realized that my babies are going to grow up and be my best friends tomorrow, so I better cultivate that friendship now, making sure they are indeed my best friends tomorrow. I realized that I actually have some friends that are good and faithful more than they are bad and unfaithful. I realized that I have some people that I can call at midnight. I realized that when they act stupid and forget me, they are important enough to remind them to not forget me anymore. I realized that I have been bad and unfaithful at times. I realized that I have forgotten them sometimes. I realized I had better pick the phone up at midnight when they call.

I realized a smile goes a long way. I realized that I haven't been laughing enough and laughing is fun. I found that I am at my wisest when I'm just listening and shaking my head up and down and saying "uh huh".

I realized people are fallible, very important, but fallible. I realized people are going to lie to me, ignore my wife and I, talk about us, use us, think they're better than us, forget us, and a million other things that fallible people do. And, to my surprise, I realized I didn't mind that as much as I used to; that I've come to expect it and can always forgive them and act like I don't recall all of the bad things they've done to us when they come back around and bless us. And I realized that I want them to come back around ... if they want to. And if they don't want to come back around, I can hope they are happy. I realized they are hurting, too, and that I can choose to heal, even if they do not.

I realized that the pure in heart see God; that all things are working for me and not against me. I realized that God has used every person in my life (family, friend and foe) to make me a better Christian, husband, father, friend, and preacher. I realized pride and selfishness are two of the most deadly things in the world because they build walls and shut life out.

I realized that, that although He wants my best, God knows I'm human and doesn't expect me to be anything but human; that He doesn't expect greatness out of me; He wants me to die, so He can be great through me. I realized that through Christ I can be truly free, liberated from this world.

I also was overcome by the thought that my days are few and that I must make the most of them. So, since I'm blessed enough to have a hand full of people that actually care enough about me to read this little note, I promise you, I am going to love, live, and bless more the second half of my life than I did the first.

(To be continued...)

David Lamb